Excited, but nervous.

Am I making the right descision? Should I do this??


It's a lot of money, but then again, it is very special to me.
A Final Farewell Gift?
Waste?

I hope I'm doing the right thing.



It will definitely appeciate it, But i don't want it to seem like a bribe either....



AHHHHH!!!!!

damn

I think too much




*shut down*


RAMMSTEIN CURES ALL



Rammstein - Wollt Ihr Das Bett In Flamm...

Supression, Repression, Depression, Aggression

I finally realized why I am so cold and calculating. I have supressed my emotions for so long that I no longer feel them to the extent that I should. Cool in some ways, brutally sucky in others.

Like I often find myself asking myself how I should feel about something.... and I truly don't know. Or I'll try to act the part to benefit other people.

sucks

emotions suck.

I'ma eat some nachos.

Blood Pressure Rising

Today, I have just been so...... angry. At everything and everyone. I got to the point where I just didn't want to talk to anyone. And everyone I talked to made me angry, even when I was trying to be nice to them. They would just say stupid shit. Shit that would piss me off.

repetitive shit

Read my mind shit

plain stupid shit.

i just really needed to vent and I didn't want to take it out on somebody so writing was a good way to defuse my situation.

Well Writing and listening to some SCREAMING HARDCORE DEATH MUSIC

*head explodes*
good night

Demons - Rabbit Junk

Another reminder....

I had another nice reminder of the dream that has been haunting me for weeks... During Thanksgiving I had a Flashback of the dream which sent shivers up my spine.... I'm living everything exactly as it is telling me I am and there isn't anything I can do to change the future.... sucky... Stuck in a spiral forever...


Forever is a long time.

Too long...

Makes one wonder what the point is.

Might as well live my life to the fullest because eternity is gonna suck

A Blow to the Ego

A Blow to the Ego is the hardest to take.

It doesn't physically hurt, but it is the worst pain a person (especially a man) can endure.

Different people have different things that effect their ego.

Mine is my strength, my looks, and the things I love.

A negative comment concerning any of the three throws me into turmoil.

Today is different, however. Today it controls my mind. Depresses me. tears into my very heart and soul.

Permanent State of Energy

I feel amazing. Like I can do anything, except cardio stuff lol. Ever since I stopped running Cardio has sucked getting back into. But seriously my muscles aren't fatigued after working out and i'm totally not tired or anything.



weird

Finally

So tired but I am so happy that I finally finished that stupid thing for all my friends to see.




wooo time for a nice relaxing sleep.

The Day it all Started

The War, the Death, and the Extinction. This is how it all started.

Ultimate form of Disrespect

Stealing money from a friend.
It just shows that you deserve no trust.

Especially when you have a job and I don't

that was all my money.... save what else you didn't take.

Just wait my "friend"

What goes around comes around.

Time wasted....

Last night was amazing.

So I guess I shouldn't be suprised that today doesn't compare at all.....

I'm so bored.... sooo

Depressed.

I don't know what to od to entertain myself and I see work everywhere.

Wish I could just skip today and all my work would be done.

The worst day of the rest of my life

Delusional.

That is the the best word that would explain last night.

My world was destroyed.

I was stuck in a cycle, of infinity that i could never break. I had tried so many times that it knew my every move, i couldn't break free.... couldn't regain control.

I was still semi-conscious of my actions, but not enough to control myself.

I became terrified.... unable to break the spiral into doom, into eternity. It was my punishment.... to remain conscious of my eternal loop throughout the remainder of time, but i kept lapsing in and out of reality. When in reality I fought to stay in control, but I wasn't strong enough to break free. I knew I had to wait out the waves, but i wasn't being patient, I couldn't lose control.... I couldn't....

I thought that death engulfed me.
My vision blurred.
All my senses ceased their operations.


I awoke from the nightmare.
Or so I thought....
It resumed it's reign of terror upon me.
I tried to keep track of time.... but it slipped away.




I was trapt in my own mind.

The Nova that Ended the World

It had been for days since the end. Four days without any contact from the other ships. Four days of floating in space with no hope, all alone. The few of us that had managed to escape now floated towards impending doom. Mars lingered closer, pulling us in with its gravitational field. It would be only hours before we would come crashing through its atmosphere and our lives would end upon its surface. If only there was someone else out there, other people that had survived the explosion that ended Earth. It was a strange phenomenon, with very little warning of its occurance. Only the rich and the powerful had managed to flee the planet. The occupants of my ship happened to be the powerful, ranging from government officials to large business owners. I happened to be neither rich nor powerful. The way I had landed my spot on this ark of life was through my job as an electrical engineer. I was in charge of making sure we didn't die before our impact with the red planet. I couldn't tell if escaping Earth's doom was a curse or a blessing. Either way we were going to die. We just chose to prolong the inevitable.

Two random thoughts

1) Typing is so much easier than writing, I love it.

2) No matter how many times I click the little remember me button on this blog it won't remember me.

wooo scavenger hunts... or kinda

So I made this thing for my mom's birthday so she has to follow the clues to get her present and there are 25 clues hehe. I wonder how quickly she will get annoyed at it? :D

one is supposed to be on the internet so I think I'ma make a new one of these profiles so i can host it on it haha.


well good times now time for sleeeeeep!
well kinda. woot

Random thoughts

So i'm sitting here in the lied library and had some random thoughts that i want to write down.

1) I aced my logic test... go me.

2) There are way more computers available her than there normally is.

3) The Metalocalypse soundtrack is awesome.

4) I'm fuggin hungry.

5) The Metalocalypse soundtrack songs are really short.

6) Mermaid-er Mermaid-er Mermaid-er Mermaid-er Mermaid-er

7) I kinda wanna play guitar Hero II

8) 8 is my favorite number

9) I wanna go on an adventure!!!

10) I have math homework due tomorrow :(

11) still another hour and a half until my next class.

12) Voltaire Silvenstein is the most random awesome name I have made up :D

13) What job should I get?

14) Only one person is probably going to read this besides myself lol :D

15) A Shout-out to Jessica haha

ok i'm done >_<>_<>_<>_<>_<>_<>_<>_<>_<>_<>_<>_<>_<

very.........done.......

I am in the most enormously bad mood ever.



Done.

End of Story.


mermaid-er

Clue #10

The next clue isn't under a willow,
but to let you know it is under my pillow.

Sitting at School

I'm in my three hour transition between classes. Actually I'm in the last hour of it, but seriously it took me like fifteen minutes just to log onto this damn computer. The class I'm waiting for is so pointless, but I turn in all my papers for another class in in this class sooooo..... I HAVE to wait for it BLAH!!!!





Time to go on Myspace :D

What a Waste of a day.

so.... I did absolutely nothing today.... like seriously nothing. I woke up and played video games for the entire day. it was fun but completely pointless. and I'm in a terrible mood right now and I don't know why.

How Stupid

I tried to update my Itunes and it broke.... so now i have to reinstall it.... stupid technology.

Baird the Windwalker

The clouds covered the moon, blocking out all light from it. Even the street lamps seemed effected by the clouds as they did a poor job of lighting the street. But it wasn't the darkness that concerned me, it was the actions of the ones I loved that spooked me. Everyone was acting differently than normal. I decided I would just prepare myself for the coming storm. Once I had set up my defences, nothing physical or spiritual, was getting near me. I became aware of three presences around me. They got here quick. no time to establish the various barriers and blockades, I had to take care of these three and fast. To make things even better, none of my man-made weapons would even touch them. Time to go medieval.

SOS! I AM A LION!

The headlight pierced my eye. I Hesitated. Slowly I thought about the car, turning it over in my head. I was completely unaware of what the future had in store for me. I walked towards the door, trying to maintain my posture despite the tiredness dragging me down. That's when I realized that I would be spending another night alone, my only company a computer and a comfortable, but empty bed. I awaited the sound, the sound that would bring me joy, but sank into bed knowing that the sound wasn't coming. It would be another lonely night.

Before school

Eh school in like 5 minutes sooooooo not a long entry. Yea that's it lol.